makeup makes me happy.

as my title says, makeup makes me really happy. it has been a solace of mine for close to a decade now and i can't see my days without it - even on days i'm not wearing it! i suffer from anxiety and a bit of it has had to do with my issues with my skin. i've never really had clear skin. i've had times in my life where it wasn't that bad, but it's never been clear. makeup has always been what i have gone to to help myself with my confidence and comfort and then as the years have progressed, it has become an actual hobby and passion of mine. the act of blending in a perfect foundation soothes any sadness i may be feeling over my acne scarring and a perfect black eyeliner makes me feel so feminine.

i used to feel like i needed makeup as a cover for my deep cystic acne, and i would slather on a few layers of kat von d foundation (aka extreme full coverage sh*t) and i would feel beyond naked without mascara since my lashes are so blonde. but now i can confidently say i still enjoy my days at the office where i don't wear any at all! i still have pimples and lots of scarring redness, but it doesn't need to be covered. i have natural beauty and it's not masked by my skin issues. i love my eyes and my smile and i like to think now that people look at that instead of my pimples and it's helped me so much in my journey of self love. now, makeup is truly just for fun because painting on a face is art and its FUN.

pink eyeshadow makes me so so happy and a lot in the last year i have played with bolder looks with my eyeshadow than i ever have and it's brought huge smiles to my face because it's exciting finding which colours blend well together and how a shimmer can transform the entire look! primers have been another thing that has truly sparked my interest. it's so interesting how a good (or a bad) primer can really make all the difference. i can wear one and if it isn't hydrating enough, my foundation breaks up into patches of pigment on my skin and makes me look so crusty and fake. the ones i do love make my skin glow bright and keep it on all day even if i touch my face, which i tend to do a lot. i used to think that any ol mascara would do the trick and i never really thought much about it but oh man was i wrong! mascara is one of the trickiest products to find the perfect one of. some are drier, almost thinner formulas that just coat with colour. others can somehow thicken the lashes to ten times their size. mascara can also be one that will be smudged under your eyes by the end of the day, or it will stay perfectly put! some weigh down your lashes, some curl them up. mascara is a hard one! so when you end up finding the one that has it all for you, you on hold tight to it and treat it like your baby and refuse to use anything else! i have gone through phases where i go through tube after tube of one, and then i get bored and go through a whole new process of finding the next perfect one. it's so much fun.

makeup is amazing because you don't need to be "good" at it to enjoy it. you can love makeup and wear only tinted moisturizer and mascara everyday. you can also love makeup simply because watching makeup videos on youtube is your favourite past time. i personally fell really hard in love with it because i have a shopping problem and there is never a shortage of new and exciting products to check out. there's always something new you can swatch on your hand or take home a sample of from Sephora. makeup has gotten me out of the house on multiple occasions, even when i was broke just because of simple things like sampling a foundation that i later fell in love with and purchased when i was financially stable. it gave me something to look forward to!

most people have more normal hobbies, like sports, music, reading or video games, but mine is makeup culture. i cannot get enough of it.

much love,xo